Favouritism
1. Why do some parents want to favour one sibling at the expense of others?
There are occasions when parents want to equalise what they believe their children will receive during their lifetime from other sources by giving them a greater share of their own inheritance. Episode 2 demonstrated a different scenario and reason for inequality between siblings. Brenda Felton had a concern that she would not be around to give her youngest daughter as much assistance and help as she had given her other four daughters, particularly in the provision of child care. This was her reason for arguing that her youngest daughter should receive a larger share of her estate than her four siblings.
2. How can you reduce the hurt and distress of favouring one child over another might cause?
Communication is the key. If you are prepared to discuss the matter openly with your children and are willing to explain the reasons for wanting to favour one over the other, you may well find all the children accept this is fair and reasonable.
In Episode 2 of 'You Can 't Take it With You' we saw all the siblings voluntarily offer to increase the extra sum being paid to their youngest sibling. This was, as well as being very heart warming, a clear example of how communication can resolve the potential distress that might have been caused if all the siblings had not understood the reasons behind their youngest sibling getting more from their mother's estate.
If, however, you meet a lot of resistance, it might be an idea to contemplate changing your mind to ensure that there are no ongoing family rifts during your lifetime.
3. What can go wrong with favouritism?
Favouritism can cause deep distress and hurt and break up families. The person who can explain to the disadvantaged sibling why they have been disadvantaged is, of course, no longer around to do so. On occasions, favouritism can lead to expensive legal battles which can tear a family apart and, in the worse case scenario, use up all the inheritance on legal fees.
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